Unwasted Grace

"I can't believe I did this to myself again, after all that hard work." Those words on Instagram, stopped me in my tracks. I could feel the writer's pain. The disappointment. The struggle. The heartbreak. Life has a way of feeling circular sometimes and the spinning makes us ill. What is one to do when they realize they have to cross over the same mountain again? When they stare so far up their neck hurts, yet still can't see the peak? It all seems so big. So monumental. So exhausting. What is one to do when the hope they once had disappears? When the feelings of accomplishment are replaced with self-doubt? When the excitement that once lived is stifled out by the pain that now is? What then? What now? Remember. In the gospel of Mark (chapter 8), the disciples were upset because they feared they didn't have enough food.  Jesus heard the conversation: "...He said to them, 'Why are you discussing the fact you...

Anxiety plagued me throughout the night. Sleep was found in short spurts and would inevitably end with a heart beating too fast. When the alarm rang, I laid there paralyzed. Afraid to get out of bed. Afraid to face this day. Afraid to awaken to a life that is not perfect. Perfection is a thief of joy. So is anxiety. So is fear and hurt and troubles. All this thieving can exhaust us. Maybe it's meant to exhaust us. Maybe it's in the exhaustion that we realize that we will forever be imperfect. Weak in our own strength. Needy. In need. In need of a Rescuer. A Storm-calmer. A Peacemaker. A big God. Maybe it's in our recognition of needing a big God, that we finally surrender. Unclench our fists and stop fighting. Lift up those hands and start praising.  We cannot fully live a life of praise to Him until we fully release ourselves of trying to fix it all.   He's the ultimate Fixer. We cannot fully live a life of praise to Him until...